Tuesday, May 8, 2018

Nightflights

[NOTE: I do this often, write a post, then post it. I do proof read it, but find many times it takes several run-throughs to find all the mistakes, so my apologies, if something doesn't make sense or seems weird, 'refresh' the page and it should make more sense]

So, any frequent readers will remember a couple months back I had lamented on losing my 'e-book occult library' and then with the help of the internets, I had got it all back, in spades.

I had found a free file on an occult resource website that had literally hundreds of books on everything from the Rosicrucians to Crowley-ism (really kinda interesting but total crap), from spell books to conjure "demons" to Wiccan spell books on love and nature.

I also found contained within these files, tons of info on lucid dreaming, out of body experience and meditation.
Now, again, I'm no practicing or even out right believer in any of the occult. In fact, I don't believe in god, gods, demons, angels, specters, ghosts, fairies or smurfs.... Ok, maybe the smurfs...
But like many of the topics I frequently delve into I'm fascinated by 'belief'.

Growing up, I've been offered every type of drug. From pot to LSD, coke and heroin. For the record, I have never taken ANY kind of 'hardcore' drug (other than prescription medication) with the exception of some hash that was apparently laced with 'angel dust'. I've never done. 'shrooms, LSD or any hallucinogen. I was not very happy about the laced hash, in fact it swore me off any kind of recreational drug use for years, from ages about 14 to my early 20's.
I don't think I'm a control freak, but there's something about drugs and alcohol that I dislike.
 I like to remain in control. With alcohol, when you get really, really drunk and you're thinking, 'Fuck, why'd I do this???', you're sometimes wishin that you could turn off that drunk feeling, the room spinning, the nausea... I've never been a fan of the taste of alcohol or any of those 'feelings' that go along with it.
Not that I don't feel I have a firm grasp on reality, but I worry that if I took a hallucinogen, I'd have a 'bad trip' and I'd want to turn it off, but obviously, once you take some acid or mushrooms or blotter,m you're pretty much locked in for the ride. So this is why I've always steered a wide berth of hallucinogens, even though I've heard fantastic, hilarious and intriguing 'trips' of friends, I've also heard of the nightmare "bad trips" people have had.

This is where my interest in lucid dreaming and out of body experience comes in. These are 'states of mind', that you ARE in control over. You put yourself into these states (in most cases,), you can wake up, come back at any time. YOU are in control.

One might find it odd that I don't believe in religions, 'heaven'/'hell', angels or demons, but I'd believe in the reality of having an out of body experience (OOBE).
With my interest in so many varied subjects, I do have interest in the 'great beyond'. I am fascinated by accounts of near death experience as well as accounts of OOBE's and lucid dreaming. Personally, while I do not believe in any higher power, I am willing to think that when we die, our 'souls' may access parallel dimensions Universes'. According to some science, there is something.... Beyond. My thoughts on the afterlife, it is my hope, that when I die, I'll be able to float throughout the Universe for all eternity and see all the wonders that lie beyond our World.

In this vast library I've accumulated (albeit in one fell swoop), there's audio and text guides on how to achieve these possible states of mind or states of being.
Also, recently, there was an article published in the Science news emails I get from New Atlas. This story talked about how taking the vitamin B6, can help with dream recollection, as well as aiding in the art of lucid dreaming.
I call it an 'art', because one can't just lucid dream (albeit, like some in art, when they try their first hand at it, they have what's called 'beginners' luck'). From what I've read, in order to have lucid dreams one has a  great deal to learn, to read and to try, to practice and, according to this article, vitamin B6 can be of great help. There are also a plethora of phone 'apps' and even masks and machines to help one achieve lucid dreams.

When I was much younger, I used to meditate. I had found a couple of books in my grandparents place, we lived in a big duplex home of sorts, on the subjects of meditation and OOBE's. While I won't go into it, I had a bit of a troubled youth, with a lot of fear and anxiety. Nothing ever too physical but psychological abuse to be certain.

Re-printing of the book I found at my Grandparents, published in 1989

In my late teens to early 20's, I had started with breathing techniques (not only for meditation, but also for health and to help singing). One of the main techniques I tried and got quite good at, was balancing books, with a glass of water on top of them, on my stomach, while breathing in and out. Breathing properly shouldn't be done with your chest, but with your diaphragm. One started off with just the books, a couple of them, then once you got comfortable with that, you'd add the glass of water. For meditation, breathing is key. So once I had that down, I started to venture further into my mind and soul. You can learn a lot about yourself by this and it can be very comforting once you can quiet your mind and can be alone with your thoughts.
Sadly, after a while I fell out of practice and like some 'arts', once you fall off of practice, it can very difficult to get back on that bike. For some people it's super easy, for other's like myself it's not.
Today I find I have the attention span of a brain damaged gnat. I try to meditate but am so easily distracted by my own mind and external stimuli.



I find I lack a lot of discipline. albeit, I shouldn't... One shouldn't have to rely on others for discipline, but with the lack of discipline I also find I lack a voice of reason. Someone to say, 'Hey Chris, maybe you shouldn't do that' or, 'Ya know, maybe you shouldn't eat a whole row of chocolate chip cookies before bed'... 'Maybe you should save your money better'...
And discipline, isn't something you can learn, discipline is something you either do or don't do. There's no learning curve, there's no practice, it is do or not. It's like quitting smoking. You either do it or you don't. I'm not sure what my anxiety of discipline is. I truly believe that ANYONE can achieve their dreams, you can do whatever you've ever dreamed of doing, so long as you have discipline. To be famous, you need a certain amount of discipline, to have that drive to take it all the way. I think at some points in my life I've been frightened to truly apply myself and completely follow through.
I've tasted what can be done and what it's like to follow through. When I was at Electronic Arts, after my arthritis had set in and I had made a deal in order to stay working at EA, I had gone back to where I started out in the company in Quality Assurance. But being immersed in that company, with so many amazing and talented people, I couldn't help but be effected by it and all on my own, I came up with an 'idea' that I turned into a full out working demo that I pitched to the World Wide Studios president Don Mattrick.
I'd never done ANYTHING like that before in my life. But when I had this epiphany, this idea in my brain, I knew it could work, I knew it was valuable and I knew I could pull it off, so I pursued it. In the end, while Don loved the idea, he felt the technology behind it was lacking and that my idea was ahead of it's time. He sent me off to the marketing guys who also loved the pitch and had me working on it, while doing QA work, but my health just spiraled out of control and I had to leave EA and go on Long Term Disability through the insurance company with EA. It was heartbreaking, because I knew my idea could be brought to fruition in full. I had programmers look through it and told me that it was all totally feasible and it hurt a lot, not only to lose my employment to this disease but to watch my dream fizzle out before my eyes, all because of my health. It did take a lot of discipline.
Some other time I'll spill out my project called, 'The E.A. Universe'. It was such an exciting time for me. Some say that in our lifetimes we'll each have these types of epiphanies and whether most act upon them or not is what can separate those who might go on to live a mundane life and those who become 'rich and famous'.

So, that's something I need to work on. In order to attempt, lucid dreaming or an OOBE, I'll have to discipline myself. For lucid dreaming, they recommend you keep a 'dream journal'. When you wake up from a dream, you need to write down all you can remember before those fleeting ethereal memories escape your mind. Again, they say, vitamin B6 will help with dream recollection, actually, dream recall is what they call it.

Lucid dreaming is an interesting phenomena. It's said, one can learn and in some cases people do it naturally, but one can learn to control their dreams. I remember when we were kids my brother Gordie said he could "control his dreams". To realize, in their dreams, that it is a dream and begin to control the environment they are in. Whether that's to fly, to float in space, battle crazy monsters, get past a phobia, help oneself heal from mental injuries. Lucid dreaming is not an out of body experience. OOBE's it is said, one can slip out of one's skin, much like a near death experience, except in an OOBE one has control over what's happening. With a near death experience it's said one does not have control over the experience. In fact, in several documentaries I've seen, people who have had near death experiences most often, as they are led away down tunnels of light or whatever the case may be, do not wish to "come back" to life. One woman with an incredible story, which had several witness', was kayaking somewhere in South America I believe and according to the story, this woman had an accident where she was under water for near 30 minutes, which, is incredible on its own. During this time, she said she saw herself underwater, but then she saw herself from above and soon was taken away to a place where there were "familiar entities of light". Though towards the end of this experience, she said she could "hear" the people that had found her body telling her to "come back", she didn't want to go. She wanted to stay in this place but eventually relented and came back to her body, was evacuated to a hospital and lived to tell her tale. Although the woman said she did not speak about what happened for many years because she feared her family, her daughter especially would be quite upset at her for not wanting to "come back".
With an OOBE, you can always return to yourself... At least it is said.

So, that's where I'm at, currently educating myself and trying to summon up the discipline I need to pull off these incredible states of mind that millions of people have experienced.

I'll keep ya's posted!


 
Link to the New Atlas story on Vitamin B6: https://newatlas.com/vitamin-b6-help-dream-recall/54424/

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