Save It For Later....

Let's start out with a music video first and save the bad news for later...

Save It For Later 

The English Beat

Two dozen other dirty lovers

Must be a sucker for it

Cry cry but I don't need my mother

Just hold my hand while I come to a decision on it

Sooner or later

Your legs give way, you hit the ground

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

Sooner or later

You hit the deck, you get found out

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

You let me down

Black air and seven seas are rotten through

But what can you do?

I don't know how I'm meant to act with all of you lot

Sometimes you don't try

Just now now now now now now now now now now now

Now now now now now now now now now now now

Sooner or later

Your legs give way, you hit the ground

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

Sooner or later

You hit the deck, you get found out

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

You let me down

You runaway, runaway and let me down

Two dozen other stupid reasons

Why we should suffer for this

Don't bother trying to explain them

Just hold my hand while I come to a decision on it

Sooner or later

Your legs give way, you hit the ground

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

Sooner or later

You hit the deck, you get found out

Save it for later

Don't run away and let me down

You let me down

You run away run away

Runaway runaway runaway, runaway, and let me down

Songwriters: Andy Cox / Dave Wakeling / David Steele / David Frederick Wakeling / Everett Morton / Roger Charlery

Save It for Later lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

Yeah, so I probably really shouldn't have done that walk tonight. 

Let's go back to last Saturday. I was walking off a curb and I did that fine, I am careful with curbs because even the smallest of 'drops' is pretty painful.. After I had got both feet on the ground I went to step forward and the pain came from my big toe, shot right up through my legs, almost buckling them, up my spine and to my brain. I have NO idea what brought that on. I have had pain in all my toes since about April 1999 and I do believe that this problem toe, my big toe on my right foot, is one that I had broken when i was about maybe 15/16 and I was walking down the carpet stairs to my bedroom when my foot slide perfectly following the curve of the step and my toe was driven straight down into the stair, I heard the crack, but I never did anything about it aside from nurse that toe for a while until it felt 'better'.

Goddamn it, it's only 7:20PM and it's already freakin just about dusk! 

Anyhow, it seems my big toe's latent injury just decided it needed more attention. THEN Tuesday night into Wednesday it was pretty cold, dreary and inclement and I woke up early Wednesday morning and my ankle was really painful and swollen.. It was the same when I woke up, but by the time I was ready to hobble some errands, it didn't feel all too bad, so of I went. Then last night it was a bit tender and I woke up again with it quite swollen and sore (My ANKLE|!) Despite it's bit of pain and tenderness I set out again today though I wrapped my ankle in tensor bandage. This evening I was cursing my ankle and toe... I decided since the weather was agreeable I'd go out, 'no pain no gain right'?

By the time I was almost home my hips felt like they were going to shatter... I'm blaming this on the 'change over' from Summer type weather to Fall, I mean, in a matter of days we went from near 35°C to +18°C and definitely a change in humidity.

I first was diagnosed with psoriatic arthritis in 2000 by rheumatologist Dr. Angela How. An amazing doctor. She was in oncology but saw so many people suffering from arthritis that she switched medical fields (I was also told that seeing so many people dying from cancer was also a bit of it). She felt she could do greater good dealing with us folk (arthritis sufferers).

For near a full year I had no diagnosis and from standing up to being in a wheelchair in 6 months was a frightening experience, especially since it came so very fast and no one knew what the hell was going on.

I saw a 'casting specialist' via my GP and he said that the incredible swelling of my feet and toes was due to.... "An infection from athletes foot"...... Seriously.... I was rubbing this shit on my toes and feet for like 2 months to obviously no avail (as well as taking an antibiotic -Which actually DID help a little bit at the time because there has been relief shown by taking antibiotics for psoriatic arthritis, the shit deal of course being if you take a lot of antibiotics it becomes harder to fight infections... I did actually go on an antibiotic regime sometime around 2007, just to try it because nothing else was working.

It's been a fight my friends and given that as we get older we all generally get joint issues anyhow, I could be seeing even rougher times within the next couple of decades as I get older and my body starts to give up the ghost as it were.... My rheumatologist said back in around 2003 that she thought I'd be in a permanently in a wheelchair by the time I was 30. So here's to proving them wrong.

Music!

Trumpet 

Josh Clayton-Felt

I love my trumpet, but I just can't make it sing

I love my trumpet, more than almost anything

She gave it to me, and she knows how to dream

So mush bigger than I do

I found myself at the top if a hill

I haven't climbed yet, but I'm sure I will

And the words going round could make you stand still

If you heard what they're saying

And every time (every time I think I know)

I think I know where I stand

Every time (every time I think I know)

I think I know that I can

I get turned around so easily

I love my trumpet, but I just can't make it talk

I stay up nights, but I've never seen the dark

And I hope you'll come by

And show me where to start

Cause I never would have gotten it for myself

Sometimes you need to take a little help

And when you gave it to me, so easily

I couldn't ever tell

And every time (every time I think I know)

I think I know where I stand

Every time (every time I think I know)

I think I know that I can

I get turned around so easily

Everything in this world had to come from somewhere

No, not her dhe came out of thin air

And she floats around, floats around

Floats around over there

And every time (every time I think I know)

I think I know where I stand

Every time (every time I think I know)

I think I know that I can

I get turned around so easily

Everything in this world had to come form somewhere

No, not here she came out of thin air

And she floats around, floats around, floats around

She floats around

She floats around my aching head

Until I don't know I said

I was standing outside myself

I was standing beside myself

Written by Josh Clayton Felt - Album: Inarticulate Nature Boy

Copyright ©1995 Josh Clayton-Felt