Funny how I fell out of religion. Heck, I even tried to 'find god' when my arthritis was totally destroying my life... Anything from him? Nope. no help. Guess I wasn't in a church tossing money at some preacher like he's a stripper.
We grew up in an Anglican family home. Our Great grand father on my Mom's side was Archdeacon of the Saint John diocese (He was also a prolific writer, writing some 25 books and compiling a 34 year journal).
We grew up going to the Christ Church Cathedral in Fredericton, New Brunswick. I was in the choir for a while.
It was a great church, is a great church, with it's Gothic style architecture. Holidays were always filled with the pomp and circumstance of something found right in muther Engerland! And up until some year, the Anglicans, sung their 'mass'. I really dug that, then at one point they killed off the singing bit and only just threw some hymns in here and there throughout the service.
We went to Sunday school and like most Sunday schools it was boring as hell....
Most people here in Fredericton know that the Christ Church Cathedral is allegedly haunted, so finding that out as a kid is kinda shocking, especially when Mom drops you off for choir practice early and you go in that place and no one is there. I never stood inside for too long. Nowadays I'd sleep there for a chance to see the "ghost".
So we were a good 'ol faithful, church every Sunday Anglican family.
In 1983, I went to live with my Aunt and Uncle in Calgary for a year. Taking me out of French Immersion for Grade 3 and plunking me in English Grade 4 in Calgary (The class they had blocked off as "French" class in Calgary was actually a 'free period' as they had no teachers that knew any French, this is what I was told when I asked about it in Grade 4, the teacher actually let me 'teach' the kids some French because I likely knew more than anybody in a 20 mile radius).
So, a year later, when I moved back home, and it came to going back to school, since I had missed a year of French, I'd have to 'repeat' or take grade 4 in French instead of moving on to Grade 5.
I and my Brother's went to St. Dunstan's on Regent Street., now a bunch of condo/luxury apartments. It was a weird school. It had French immersion and it had an English taught side, the teachers for the English side were all nuns at one point, but by the time I got to Grade 5 they were all gone. But the really odd part, especially to me even at that age, was that the English side, took catholic catechism... Which having been formerly in the French Immersion program on the other side of the school, I knew they didn't take no catechism on that side AND even scarier, they actually brought in a priest every couple of weeks or once a month to do ... Confession!!! No way! haha, I wasn't confessing nutin' to no one let alone a strange priest! .. And I felt very uncomfortable being told I had to partake in 'another religions' rituals and beliefs and I told my parents about it.
I thought, and this seemed more logical to me for some reason, that the French immersion side would have been the more 'religious' one, and the English side, not. But my parents thankfully intervened and for the 'catechism' class, I didn't have to participate, and for 'confession' which took place in the St. Dunstan's gym, which at least you weren't alone anywhere with some catholic priest.... I could just talk to the priest about any problems or concerns I might have, which I never did, I'd just say 'Hi' and that'd be about it...
But being exposed to catholicism started to put questions in to my head about 'christianity' and from then on over the years I questioned it all. Why were protestants and catholics different? Why did they believe in different interpretations of the same book? How could that be 'ok with 'god'. This in turn opened this question to all religions and from the moment I started to read about the solar system, galaxy and the universe and all it's implications and felt that a 'creator' had no purpose to it all and IF, if there was a 'creator' that created not just the 'earth' but everything, why would it have any vested interest in what the creations of this one tiny teeny planet out of billions were up to, let alone their souls.... Further, why would it feel the need or have us bent to the notion of placating, praying, sacrificing and worshiping it, repenting to it with the horrible promise of ignoring or not believing in it would condemn us to an eternal hell.... I mean, c'mon.
There's a loose theory that the universe is a computer program. When you play in a game or create one, build a virtual world, do you program in the need for the characters to worship you and take time out of their pre-programmed lives or adventures to go to a building and sing and chant to you?
And that's my feelings about it. I have no problem if you reading this do feel this need to have religion in your life. I don't look down on or think these people are stupid. Except for a couple of so called religions,, some of them ain't right....
But like, flat earthers or UFO/Alien believers, it's perfectly fine to have these beliefs, just understand that not everyone subscribes to them and in the end really you can no more prove to be that 'god' exists as I can prove he doesn't.
So it seemed after I came back from Calgary that year that slowly, yet surely we started to attend church less and less until at one point we only went at christmas and easter.
And I did at one point look to god when I got really bad with my arthritis and that went two ways... What did I do to deserve that? I mean, I've not been an angel, but I've never done anything that I would have thought the big cheese upstairs would curse me with a debilitating disease. So I prayed, Every night for a year or more I asked for strength to get through this and for my disease to get better not worse and it got worse and worse. What trial did I get that I had to endure this, as what a 'test' of faith? That's a damn pretty sick 'test'....
No help came from the 'man upstairs', so as I had gathered since I was a young kid, there was no one up there, no one that wanted to help me, that's for certain... So then I turned to Satan and everything was great!
Ha! Just kiddin'... no god above, no devil below.
I do tend to gravitate towards the darker arts, but no beliefs. I think 'satanism' in whatever strain it comes from is rather silly. But I do love 'dark artwork' but I also love the artwork from many religions. I feel that when an artist is driven by their beliefs or faith, be it dark or light, they can create some absolutely wondrous and incredible works of art. Many churches, mosques and temples around the World are testimony to this. I appreciate the religious upbringing I had because I think it added to my open mind about the World and cultures and people's beliefs.
And that my friends is my sermon for 'good Friday'. It was a great Friday. I went down to Saint John with Crystal's sister and her husband and we had a great meal, got to tell the family our vacation adventures and Gord took us through a slide show of his pix and vids.
Have a good one!
We grew up in an Anglican family home. Our Great grand father on my Mom's side was Archdeacon of the Saint John diocese (He was also a prolific writer, writing some 25 books and compiling a 34 year journal).
We grew up going to the Christ Church Cathedral in Fredericton, New Brunswick. I was in the choir for a while.
It was a great church, is a great church, with it's Gothic style architecture. Holidays were always filled with the pomp and circumstance of something found right in muther Engerland! And up until some year, the Anglicans, sung their 'mass'. I really dug that, then at one point they killed off the singing bit and only just threw some hymns in here and there throughout the service.
We went to Sunday school and like most Sunday schools it was boring as hell....
Most people here in Fredericton know that the Christ Church Cathedral is allegedly haunted, so finding that out as a kid is kinda shocking, especially when Mom drops you off for choir practice early and you go in that place and no one is there. I never stood inside for too long. Nowadays I'd sleep there for a chance to see the "ghost".
So we were a good 'ol faithful, church every Sunday Anglican family.
In 1983, I went to live with my Aunt and Uncle in Calgary for a year. Taking me out of French Immersion for Grade 3 and plunking me in English Grade 4 in Calgary (The class they had blocked off as "French" class in Calgary was actually a 'free period' as they had no teachers that knew any French, this is what I was told when I asked about it in Grade 4, the teacher actually let me 'teach' the kids some French because I likely knew more than anybody in a 20 mile radius).
So, a year later, when I moved back home, and it came to going back to school, since I had missed a year of French, I'd have to 'repeat' or take grade 4 in French instead of moving on to Grade 5.
I and my Brother's went to St. Dunstan's on Regent Street., now a bunch of condo/luxury apartments. It was a weird school. It had French immersion and it had an English taught side, the teachers for the English side were all nuns at one point, but by the time I got to Grade 5 they were all gone. But the really odd part, especially to me even at that age, was that the English side, took catholic catechism... Which having been formerly in the French Immersion program on the other side of the school, I knew they didn't take no catechism on that side AND even scarier, they actually brought in a priest every couple of weeks or once a month to do ... Confession!!! No way! haha, I wasn't confessing nutin' to no one let alone a strange priest! .. And I felt very uncomfortable being told I had to partake in 'another religions' rituals and beliefs and I told my parents about it.
I thought, and this seemed more logical to me for some reason, that the French immersion side would have been the more 'religious' one, and the English side, not. But my parents thankfully intervened and for the 'catechism' class, I didn't have to participate, and for 'confession' which took place in the St. Dunstan's gym, which at least you weren't alone anywhere with some catholic priest.... I could just talk to the priest about any problems or concerns I might have, which I never did, I'd just say 'Hi' and that'd be about it...
But being exposed to catholicism started to put questions in to my head about 'christianity' and from then on over the years I questioned it all. Why were protestants and catholics different? Why did they believe in different interpretations of the same book? How could that be 'ok with 'god'. This in turn opened this question to all religions and from the moment I started to read about the solar system, galaxy and the universe and all it's implications and felt that a 'creator' had no purpose to it all and IF, if there was a 'creator' that created not just the 'earth' but everything, why would it have any vested interest in what the creations of this one tiny teeny planet out of billions were up to, let alone their souls.... Further, why would it feel the need or have us bent to the notion of placating, praying, sacrificing and worshiping it, repenting to it with the horrible promise of ignoring or not believing in it would condemn us to an eternal hell.... I mean, c'mon.
There's a loose theory that the universe is a computer program. When you play in a game or create one, build a virtual world, do you program in the need for the characters to worship you and take time out of their pre-programmed lives or adventures to go to a building and sing and chant to you?
And that's my feelings about it. I have no problem if you reading this do feel this need to have religion in your life. I don't look down on or think these people are stupid. Except for a couple of so called religions,, some of them ain't right....
But like, flat earthers or UFO/Alien believers, it's perfectly fine to have these beliefs, just understand that not everyone subscribes to them and in the end really you can no more prove to be that 'god' exists as I can prove he doesn't.
So it seemed after I came back from Calgary that year that slowly, yet surely we started to attend church less and less until at one point we only went at christmas and easter.
And I did at one point look to god when I got really bad with my arthritis and that went two ways... What did I do to deserve that? I mean, I've not been an angel, but I've never done anything that I would have thought the big cheese upstairs would curse me with a debilitating disease. So I prayed, Every night for a year or more I asked for strength to get through this and for my disease to get better not worse and it got worse and worse. What trial did I get that I had to endure this, as what a 'test' of faith? That's a damn pretty sick 'test'....
No help came from the 'man upstairs', so as I had gathered since I was a young kid, there was no one up there, no one that wanted to help me, that's for certain... So then I turned to Satan and everything was great!
Ha! Just kiddin'... no god above, no devil below.
I do tend to gravitate towards the darker arts, but no beliefs. I think 'satanism' in whatever strain it comes from is rather silly. But I do love 'dark artwork' but I also love the artwork from many religions. I feel that when an artist is driven by their beliefs or faith, be it dark or light, they can create some absolutely wondrous and incredible works of art. Many churches, mosques and temples around the World are testimony to this. I appreciate the religious upbringing I had because I think it added to my open mind about the World and cultures and people's beliefs.
And that my friends is my sermon for 'good Friday'. It was a great Friday. I went down to Saint John with Crystal's sister and her husband and we had a great meal, got to tell the family our vacation adventures and Gord took us through a slide show of his pix and vids.
Have a good one!
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