"And All I Ask Of Myself, Is That I Hold Together"....

Today's blog title is taken from the 1990's Alt-Rock group 'Ned's Atomic Dustbin' song called, 'All I Ask Of Myself Is That I Hold Together' from their final album released in 1995 'Brainbloodvolume' (yes, that's the title, not a typo!).

Ned's were in that 1990's Brit Invasion wave that included bands like, 'Jesus Jones', 'Blur', 'Oasis' (yuk), KLF, and on and on.

But what set Ned's apart not just from their genre, but jsut about every other band that's ever existed was their incorporation of having a second bassist.
So instead of the 'usual' two guitarists or two drummers or two keyboard players, Ned's hit you in the face with lead and rhythm bass lines... I was transfixed. It's kinda silly, I love music, I love each instrument that generally comprises a 'group' or artist's band and through my live for Iron Maiden, bass has always stuck out for me and to hear Ned's with the walloping double bass through every song was mind blowing. But, like a lot of bands of that era, they didn't 'catch' on. Sure they had some great singles that did well, but it wasn't enough to elevate them to bigger and better things. But that's never mattered to me anyhow, sure I've lost some of my favorite bands because they resisted becoming more commercial and accessible to a larger audience but some of them I always felt were some of my own little secrets because so many of my friends would never have had a clue about them.

Some of you know and some of you may not know that I suffered from debilitating anxiety, which really accompanied me throughout my entire life and that's no exaggeration, and it really peaked around 95/96 and it blossomed into full blown agoraphobia, which for an extrovert/outgoing guy like myself, was a real blow. Not knowing what this 'fear' was or where it was coming from, coupled with OCD behavior, I was a wreck. It's why I don't appear in the X-Files crew photos, same with Millennium, I just couldn't bring myself to go be apart of it, my 'fear' at the time developed me. I missed my best friends wedding, I missed so many things in those years.
The one comfort, music.
Ned's Atomic Dustbin's 'frantic' 'All I Ask Of Myself, Is That I Hold Together' became somewhat a mantra, played over and over again to help me get through toughest of times.

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

Half as drunk is twice as clever

Appalled when tarred and feathered

Remarks upon the weather

Will just retard endeavor

This piece of meat is pumping

Poison 'round itself, so neatly

About it, pound for pound

It feeds away and most discreetly

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

Get me divine ascension

Supply my worst intention

To thrash it out in heaven

Our Lord, too thick to mention

This piece of mind is keeping

To itself, if only sleeping

Regard it, freeze it, jar it

Assign it all to healing

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

That I hold together

That I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Johnathan Penney / Matthew Richard Cheslin / Alexander Thomas Griffin / Daniel Charles Worton / Gareth John Pring

All I Ask of Myself Is That I Hold Together lyrics © Polygram Music Publishing Ltd. Gb, UNIVERSAL - POLYGRAM INTERNATIONAL PUB INC