Some Concerning Developments

I'm at fault for this. As the saying goes, 'Curiosity killed the cat'....(Just to clarify, this post isn't about the feral cats)

Today I was chillin' in my apartment when I saw some workers show up next door where the burnt house is.

I'm a curious guy lol.. So I went out for a smoke and started talking to one of the workers... In our conversation I was saying, 'You know it's too bad about this 'barn/garage', it's in not bad shape (wasn't touched by the fire)'.
The worker then said, 'Well, it's all coming down in April, the house, the garage and your place, all of it, in April' he stated again.

I was like, 'Oh wow, ok'....

Now, I've signed a lease and in that lease they have to give me 3 months notice. Which is cool and all, but since the first time I met the owner and then in meeting the property manager, I've always said, 'My Brother's wedding is in April, so I hope nothing happens, as far as having to move, until after April'.
Until today, as far as conversations I've had with the owners property manager, there was no action going to take place until AFTER April and maybe even up to a year before they'd wipe out the houses. Which as far as having to move, was comforting that I wouldn't have to pack through the Winter and be out in April... Or March for that matter. It's doable, but with the wedding and all, it'd just be a helluva lot less stressful if I could get Cuba behind me and then deal with moving.

So I've written the property manager about the conversation I had with this worker. Really, the guy might have old info or just not know what he's talking about. The reply from the property manager just said he'd "check into it"... Me, I'd think, as property manager, he'd know... But who knows...

So, the 'bright side'? My old landlady, lol she's not 'old', I'm meaning she used to own this place. She has a place on the North side that she said is mine for the asking, but she's not sure if I'll like it.

So sometime soon she's gonna show me the place... lol Now the thing with this new place is... A dude died in there, a very very large dude and they didn't find him for like 3 weeks (My one fear of being single is that happening)... So the place is going through extensive renovations.. I've seen the 'mess' the unfound dead can leave and know the procedures that have to take place for it to be cleaned up and accessed by inspectors.
I'm not worried about some overweight ghost haunting the place. My landlady feels that I may feel that the place is too small. I think she said that the place is smaller than my apartment i'm in now.

So, fingers crossed, either A: This worker had incorrect info B: My old landlady's 'new' place will be adequate for me.... If not, I do have other leads, thanks to Sarah Lockhart and some folks I know that live around Queen Square.. Just wasn't prepared for the information I got today.

Cat update: Dang Tobias, aka Fluffy seems to sense I want to grab him if he comes up on the steps. Which, he's been stubborn since the last storm.. But, it's belly will be it's undoing, like I said to my Brother Gordy, 'As soon as that cat hits my steps, I'm grabbin' it'!

So, the game is afoot!

"And All I Ask Of Myself, Is That I Hold Together"....

Today's blog title is taken from the 1990's Alt-Rock group 'Ned's Atomic Dustbin' song called, 'All I Ask Of Myself Is That I Hold Together' from their final album released in 1995 'Brainbloodvolume' (yes, that's the title, not a typo!).

Ned's were in that 1990's Brit Invasion wave that included bands like, 'Jesus Jones', 'Blur', 'Oasis' (yuk), KLF, and on and on.

But what set Ned's apart not just from their genre, but jsut about every other band that's ever existed was their incorporation of having a second bassist.
So instead of the 'usual' two guitarists or two drummers or two keyboard players, Ned's hit you in the face with lead and rhythm bass lines... I was transfixed. It's kinda silly, I love music, I love each instrument that generally comprises a 'group' or artist's band and through my live for Iron Maiden, bass has always stuck out for me and to hear Ned's with the walloping double bass through every song was mind blowing. But, like a lot of bands of that era, they didn't 'catch' on. Sure they had some great singles that did well, but it wasn't enough to elevate them to bigger and better things. But that's never mattered to me anyhow, sure I've lost some of my favorite bands because they resisted becoming more commercial and accessible to a larger audience but some of them I always felt were some of my own little secrets because so many of my friends would never have had a clue about them.

Some of you know and some of you may not know that I suffered from debilitating anxiety, which really accompanied me throughout my entire life and that's no exaggeration, and it really peaked around 95/96 and it blossomed into full blown agoraphobia, which for an extrovert/outgoing guy like myself, was a real blow. Not knowing what this 'fear' was or where it was coming from, coupled with OCD behavior, I was a wreck. It's why I don't appear in the X-Files crew photos, same with Millennium, I just couldn't bring myself to go be apart of it, my 'fear' at the time developed me. I missed my best friends wedding, I missed so many things in those years.
The one comfort, music.
Ned's Atomic Dustbin's 'frantic' 'All I Ask Of Myself, Is That I Hold Together' became somewhat a mantra, played over and over again to help me get through toughest of times.

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

Half as drunk is twice as clever

Appalled when tarred and feathered

Remarks upon the weather

Will just retard endeavor

This piece of meat is pumping

Poison 'round itself, so neatly

About it, pound for pound

It feeds away and most discreetly

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

Get me divine ascension

Supply my worst intention

To thrash it out in heaven

Our Lord, too thick to mention

This piece of mind is keeping

To itself, if only sleeping

Regard it, freeze it, jar it

Assign it all to healing

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

That I hold together

That I hold together

And all I ask of myself

Is that I hold together

Source: Musixmatch

Songwriters: Johnathan Penney / Matthew Richard Cheslin / Alexander Thomas Griffin / Daniel Charles Worton / Gareth John Pring

All I Ask of Myself Is That I Hold Together lyrics © Polygram Music Publishing Ltd. Gb, UNIVERSAL - POLYGRAM INTERNATIONAL PUB INC

'The Satanist' & The Petulant Superstore Worker

Really they have nothing to do with one another, but let's start with my trip to Superstore... It was a nice trip, windy, but nice.
I got my items and got in line. There was a lady ahead of me and one behind me in line. The lady ahead of me said something to the cashier and the cashier just sorta looked blankly at her and shrugged...
While I was watching this, I happened to notice this cashier, a young lady, had these earings that appeared to have either Cthulhu on them or an octopus on them. So when it was my turn at cash, while going through the transaction, I said to the young lady, 'Are those Cthulhu earrings? Or is that an octopus?'
"WHAT?" she snapped at me... I asked my question again, "What>?" She says again... The lady that was behind me spoke up and said, "He's asking about your earings dear, are they an octopus?"
The young cashier looked at me and scowled, "I don't know".....

'Alright I said' and was seconds from going to management and asking that maybe this cashier needs a time out or maybe a new job... I mean, I know or rather I don't know, because working for the public like that was never ever something I ever wanted to do. And I KNOW, 'the public are assholes'... Well, I'm  not an asshole. And while I don't expect the cashier to slip a flashy smile on her face and be all gleeful, a little fucking respect would be good for her, both for her and towards her customers.
I was just trying to be fucking nice.


Now.... Zee Satanist:

One of my favorite albums in the last many years was just deemed 'Metal album of the decade' by Loudwire, an online and print Heavy Metal 'zine.
I'd have to really look, but I think Metal wise, in my collection they might be right. 'The Satanist' is one Hell OF an album!
Like they say in their article, from start to finish the album is a masterpiece of Metal, anti religion and lyrical madness that only a man who came close to death and lived to tell about it could write.

You tend to hear that when artists or anyone really is close to death they tend to reach out to 'god'.. Especially if they had rejected religion at some point. When Nergal, 'Behemoth's' singer was dying of cancer, he didnt reach for the 'lord'.. In fact he turned away even harder and I think a lot of that goes into the album.

After his battle with cancer and drummer Inferno's battle with his appendix, The band announced on may 30th of 2013 that in February 2014 the band would release their 10th studio album titled,'The Satanist'.
Again, the album is a masterpiece, every instrument and instrumentation, every lyric.. It's blasphemous, it's evil, it's dark, it's heavy, there's really little else that this album could squeeze in.

The albums packaging and artwork is only rivaled by their 2019 release 'I Loved You At Your Darkest'.

The merchandise for 'The Satanist' has been a hot hot seller for the band and from my many years of buying band merch, I think Behemoth has some of the best priced merch and best looking and well made merch out there of ANY band. I've purchased several items directly from the bands official site and I've always been super impressed by their service, pricing and quality of product.

'The Satanist' sigil long sleeve $36! And amazing quality

The videos that the band released during 'The Satanist' album cycle were outstanding.
Many of the videos were conceived by the band and 'Groupa13' an amazing art-house production company whose visions and realizations of the bands concepts and ideas are brought to life in horrific and true blasphemous fashion.
I think, oh it's hard to make a choice, Ok, so i'll give you two. 'Blow Your Trumpets Gabriel' of which there is a censored version out there if you are at work as  this version is NSFW! and probably my favorite track off the album, 'O Father, O Satan, O Sun'

Now Black Metal & Behemoth purists may totally disagree with me about the band's latest albums.

I've 'liked' some of the more extreme Metal band's on and off throughout my life in Metal, but it really wasn't until 'The Satanist' that I could really say I had a great interest in this genre.
It's not for the faint of heart nor for those who are into clear, clean 'perry's vocals.

I was thinking the other day about how, most people's taste in music mellows over the decades of their lives, but I've found I've been listening to some of the heaviest music in my life at this point and this latent interest has blossomed over the last couple of years and I've expanded my collection of 'Black Metal' albums.

Anyhow, not that 'Loudwires' naming 'The Satanist' as "album of the decade" means a whole heckuva lot to a lot of people. It's cool to know that some agree with me that this album is a 'marker' in the evolution of Metal and the evolution of the Polish Black Metal band 'Behemoth'.

Hard Chargin'

Had a blast earlier at Fredericton's Crust Metal King's 'Hard Charger's' video release party. Nancy Brown came along as my guest... Great to see Ciaron, Brent, Chris Giles, Mike Erb, Bruce, Stacy Lynn, Arthur, DJ STv,  The Hard Charger guys of course, minus Tom.... It was a nice 'Lil get together!

Bruce Legrow had asked if I'd like to help out with the shoot a while back, but I just didn't feel up to it and being the Fall AND being an outdoor shoot, I figured it would have beat me into the Earth and I'm glad I made that decision as lol cast and crew looked 'beat into the Earth' by the end of that shoot.

Deservedly so, everyone that worked on the video did a stellar job in each of their departments and roles!

Trust me, people are gonna howl when they see this vid! It's filled with the very best quality in violence and mayhem that the guys from Hard Charger and their crew could bring forth!

And we wouldn't expect any less!

Keep yer eyes peeled to FB and Hard Charger's YouTube page.... It's coming!

Hard Charger YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCD4yzg_5bf7sxeQmo79jReg

Hard Charger Bandcamp: https://hardcharger.bandcamp.com/

Hard Charger FB: https://www.facebook.com › hardchargermusic

There! Now ya can't miss it!.... Well, Unless you are listening to like the FOX or something, Fuck knows they'd never play anything as cool as Hard Charger!

Oh! And I won another copy of their latest album 'Vol. 4 - Take The Guff And Suffer'!

I'm gonna save it in it's sealed condition! ..... I shoulda got the guys to autograph it! Damn it!

Feral Cat Update: December 13th - All 3

After not seeing the white cat, I call 'Ghost' since last Monday. I've also not seen the tabby in over a week.
Then today, all of that changed.. Of course. Be sure to check out the whole vid as I've moved their feeding station and it's currently under renovation.

Thanks for watching! Please 'Like' & 'Subscribe' so you never miss a video update!

Adventures At The DECH - CT Scan Aftermath!

Lookit this!:

It Looks like Stevie Wonder was playing darts with a syringe and my arms were the target!

That's 7 attempts! 7! -  I think my post yesterday I had said 3 and I thought 'maybe 4'.... 7!!.....

Ok! All good, I got "small veins"... But c'mon now! And I wasn't being a smartass or rude.. When someone's sticking pointy sharp things into my flesh, I tend to keep my peace and let them do their job...

But the CT Scan was a blast, I was actually laughing.  - Years ago I had a MRI done and that was with injected dye and they strap you down, it's a narrow space, there's all kinds of racket going on and right before she straps me onto the MRI plank the tech says, "Oh, do you have gum in your mouth? You should have spit that out, if you choke on it, we might not be able to get you out in time!"... Oh thanks lady!! Thanks for the heads up!

This time, the lady is like, "Ok, some people are allergic to the solution (I forget her 'buzzword' for whatever the 'stuff' is they inject into the final hole they put in my arm)... So please tell me if your throat starts to swell up or you begin to have difficulty breathing"....

So, the first time through the 'doughnut' is without the 'solution', I think they did two for good measure, then she says, "ok the solution is coming in" or whatever she said.. So for the first 20 seconds, 1. I'm not feeling it, she said some people think they are pissing themselves, but I felt no "warm sensation" 2. Is my throat swelling up? Am I breathing ok? Yeah? Ok.... So from there, once I figured out I wasn't going to die, I was just totally enthralled by the technology.. But sadly, they wouldn't let me look at my scans... Which sucks, because I have my MRI scans...

Oh well, I'm back to 'normal me' again today... And there's a storm coming!

Cats & 'CATscans' (CT scans)

I know I've flooded my FB page with this feral cat epic over the last several weeks. But today I bring you a different 'Cat' story.

Monday evening Ciaron Lewis was over for a good visit and after he left, I started to have pains in my stomach (which I don't attribute to Ciaron in any way lol, just he was over before this episode began).
These pains rose and rose in my stomach until it was almost unbearable, then it would subside and just about completely dissipate before starting the cycle over and over again until last night (Tuesday night), my friend Nancy, who was just about to head home offered to take me up to the DECH (our local hospital), which I'm glad she did, as I was just about to flop down on my bed and pass out again.
As far as wait times go, it wasn't too bad. I was seen, they took blood, urine and did an X-ray of my guttyworks. I waited for those results, with nothing really coming back other than some elevated white blood cells, which is 'normal' for me due to the inflammation from my arthritis.

The nurse then handed me a bottle of Gastrogavin? I think I hucked the bottled after I took it.. Anyhow, I was booked in for a CT scan this morning.

So, came home, got ready for bed, managed to make sure that the black cat was still on it's feeding schedule through all this... And this morning got up and headed back up to the DECH.

The stuff I drank is to help the docs see what's shaking in your guttyworks better. So I went to the radiology Dept. and drank the rest of that crap (not the worst 'crap' I've drunk) and then they got me into 'Johnny shirts' and attempted to stick in the IV... Now, I say 'attempted' because it took her 4 tries to get that sucker in my arms, but apparently I have "tiny veins" and she had a helluva time trying to get the IV into them! So, she eventually gave up and called in this dude and he stuck me right away. Good thing I ain't a needle jabbin' junkie! Guess I'd have a helluva time!

So, I've had the MRI before and the CT scan was super fun, lol, I was actually smiling watching this big donut do it's thing.. Sliding back and forth.. It's pretty cool... When I had my MRI, I was observant enough to figure they were using a Windows based program to get the imagery and actually walked out of the hospital with my own copy of my body scan - No such luck this time though.. DaMN IT - Would have been rad to have a bunch of my guttyworks to look at!

So, after that i went back to Emerge and waited... and waited... And went to the bathroom and then came back and waited and waited.... Saw a guy who was after me in the scan come out and leave and thought.. Wait a second.... So I went and asked and sure enough, they had called for me when I was in the can...
So doc says it's nothing, more than likelt a stomach virus he's seen making the rounds of the area over the last several weeks.
There were some things that showed up, but nothing serious and worth divulging here.

Good news is I'm alright this time!

Oh, I love getting my blood pressure done, they always say, "It's good, really good! Better than mine" - I attribute that to never being married and not having kids.. I'm telling you, it's probably a life saver!

Thanks to Nancy again for the lift!

3 New Videos In One Night?

Quite impressed with this cat. You hear me say it a few times and probably a few more times to come, I wish I could keep this one, but Elsa is just too... Crazy.. I explain in the video.

And here is a abridged version for those of you who just want to see the 'BIG moment!':

And my little 'Indoor/Outdoor Battery Operated Xmas Lites Hack':

"There's No Way Back From Here"....

So why? Why is "there no way back from here"?

It just makes sense to me. All the events in your life that become the past, the good, the bad, the great and triumphant, once you've past them... There's really, no way back.

It's not meant to be a sad or bad thing, it's just that all of the events in your life, from the next second on are behind you.

Be well my friends.

'Fluffy' The Feral Cat Caught On Video!

She was out there this morning and came up close to me again, then my foot slipped and just that noise made her step back to like 5 feet away again... Oh well, patience....

!!Winter Storm Warning!! - Check back for updates!!
3:06 PM AST Monday 02 December 2019
Snowfall warning in effect for:

Fredericton and Southern York County
Snowfall with total amounts of 15 to 35 cm is expected.

Locations: Northern, central and western new Brunswick.

Time span: early Tuesday morning until overnight Tuesday.

Remarks: Snow at times heavy will develop over south central New Brunswick early Tuesday morning and spread to northern New Brunswick by early Tuesday afternoon. Snow will likely mix with or briefly change to ice pellets with a risk of freezing rain for a time over all but northwestern New Brunswick. Snow will gradually taper to flurries from west to east Tuesday night.

Be prepared to adjust your driving with changing road conditions. Surfaces such as highways, roads, walkways and parking lots may become difficult to navigate due to accumulating snow.


Snowfall warnings are issued when significant snowfall is expected.
- - - - - -  - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - -- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -  - - -- - - - - - -

Remember in the instance of disaster and emergency:

Feral Cats Uodate - Dec 1st 2019

Dang pigeons....

Hey YouDude.... Don't Call Me Dude!

 So YouTube has changed their policies... A lot of talk among Youtubers about how this will effect monetization and other things on Youtube.. I shouldn't worry.. There's been this big WARNING! when I've been uploading my vids telling me I have to tell them (YouTube/My audience) if my videos are "children friendly".. I kinda avoided it for a while because I didn't think it really meant much to me.. BUT, today I HAD to pick.. "Vids safe for kids" Or "Vids not safe for kids"... So, since I have frequent swearing I chose 'Not for kids'... I mean, my videos are never outrageous or violent in nature... But yeah lol the swearing and do I have to swear? No, but I like to.. It makes me feel like a big bad man!

Also I was looking into monetizing my videos... As I was watching a video early this morning and this young lady was saying that IF your vids are not monetized, then you basically get relegated to YouTube 'no man's land'... Barely anyone will find/see your videos...

So with that info, i went to finish off my monetization process.... But I cannot.. As I'm told...

"To get into the YouTube Partner Program, your channel needs 4,000 public watch hours in the last 12 months, and 1,000 subscribers. Your channel will also get reviewed to make sure it follows
YouTube monetization policies

124 subscribers
1,000 needed
111 public watch hours
4,000 needed"

Now, really, I don't care about making money off my videos.. But I do wish that they'd get out to more people.. Fuck, thousands of people subscribe to YouTube channels with people telling you how to heal yourself with your own pee or channels about people doing fecal transplants.. But my chipmunk videos get like .. 5... 6. 7 views?

There was a channel of this guy that eats like everything (I don't know how he does it, I'm guessing he takes like a hammer, and makes a mold of it then makes a prop hammer that's edible...) Dude has like fucking MILLIONS of views... From eating random stuff.....

Anyhow.. My vids are what they are.. They are an extension of my blog and that is an extension of the journals i used to keep as a kid and into adulthood.
 You enjoy them or not.. You watch them or not....